HOW TO TRAIN YOUR HUMAN TO LET YOU OUTSIDE

First of all, stand in front of your human and stare.  If this doesn’t work, stand in front of the door into the garden.
 
This should provoke the correct response, but can be accompanied by whining or even barking if your human isn’t taking any notice of you.
 
If this tactic doesn’t work, then feel free to tiddle in the house, directly in front of your human.  Carpets are better than solid floors as it will reinforce their undesirable behaviour.  Maintain eye contact at all times.

If you want to tease, once you have been let into the garden you can take your time aimlessly sniffing plants rather than having a tiddle at all.  This works especially well at four o’clock in the morning.

Millie the Labrador